Ameen is a modern day spiritual teacher who preaches the path to enlightenment through self-awareness. Currently living in Ibiza, Ameen lives with his wife and children while spreading his teachings. Spirit Charger will be releasing a series of Ameen’s take on life, love and the interpretation of it all. This is part one.
Is it important in any way to have a partner? Is it conducive to our personal development?
It is a beautiful thing to share life with someone that you feel close to but it is not important, it is not necessary (contrary to what society will tell you). With kids, I mean I have a family and I love it – it’s very beautiful. But of course there are always disagreements. There are ups and downs in a relationship with anyone.
But it is not conducive to your own personal development. When in a relationship, it’s much easier for us to avoid ourselves. When we are alone, we face ourselves; but when we have a partner there is a strong mirror. For me, this was a very large part of my development. My partner showed me a strong mirror even after my realization.
What in your opinion is a good way to sustain a romantic relationship?
With all my learnings, I have not yet discovered a good way to sustain a romantic relationship [laughing].
Live and let live would be my advice. The story is don’t expect to find the love that you’re looking for – that’s the main problem. We are under the illusion that the void we feel, the emptiness that we feel will be filled by being in a relationship with someone. It’s just a separation from who we are, the internal that we are. In a way it’s chasing a ghost, you know. For me it was shocking after I reached such a realization, that it’s just my ego worrying about why am I not in a relationship. In reality, I don’t need to be in a relationship; everything is full, everything is fine. From that point, I realized that there are other beauties to relationships, that together can create some beautiful things, share things; it’s not about trying to win back the love that we lost when we were born as separate entities. Psychologists claim that we try to gain love from our mother or father or our partner, but I think its even deeper – the love that we so desperately try to receive. However, we must realize that the love of others is not enough. It is the love of ourselves to ourselves, which is basically realizing ourselves as consciousness. That is what love is; we don’t need to chase love. Everything is okay, everything is full. There’s no issue at all.
Be in a relationship, but know that what you were looking for is within yourself. Then you will see your partner as who they are. You won’t experience your relationship as a projection. We typically give out certain roles and this is what creates the conflict. We could put them in a role of someone that doesn’t give us love and thus perpetuate the chase for love. The underlying point is that we have a need for love, a need we have to fill yourselves.
But a partner can never replace your self love. We still think that if our partner behaves in a way, or be with us in a certain way, we will be full and fulfilled. But in reality it’s so flat. That’s not what this is about. Our intention is to find love and to receive love, while all along it’s about realizing ourselves as loved, and loving ourselves.
Imagine someone sleeping with a bucket of water next to them in their bed while believing that it’s a person. Partners never really give us what we want; but it’s all futile expectations. The thing is with humanity’s condition that novels and movies create such a strong conditioning that we’ll find someone who will give us love and that we will never be whole without that person. There is a very strong conditioning to find a partner, but that is an illusion. Love yourself, and all else will fall into place.